I Am Without Job

I’m on maternity leave.  It ends today.  When did I find out about losing my job?  Officially, yesterday.  Yup.  That’s right.  They day before my maternity leave ends, I find out I’ve lost my job.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  Tuesday is when my supervisor called me to come in on Thursday (yesterday) so we could “discuss” my job situation.  We talked for a minute and he basically said that they were “restructuring,” making cuts and one of those cuts would be me.

So, I will be actively looking for a job with no money coming in.  They did give me my severance and I have unused vacation time to be paid out.  So, it’s not like I’ll have no money, but once that’s gone, it’s done.  I better find a job before it runs out.  The longest you can be on Employment Insurance is one year.  That’s how long maternity leave is and EI is what pays that.  I don’t qualify for anymore because I haven’t worked in a year.

I’m not getting laid off because I was on maternity leave.  If I thought that, I would be way more angry and calling the Ministry of Labour.  I know that it’s a legitimate lay-off, one of many that they’re doing at the company.  Honestly, while it is extremely upsetting to be laid-off in general and specifically now, I don’t want to disparage the company I was working for.  I especially don’t want to say anything bad about the individuals I worked for and with.  I had some great supervisors.  I felt that they were unhappy about letting me go and having to let other people go too.

What is making me crazy is the fact that I won’t get any EI money.  I mean, I was on mat leave!  I wasn’t unemployed for a year.  I went on mat leave expecting to have a job when it was done.  If I knew they were going to lay me off, I would have looked for a new job, but I didn’t know.  According to them, they didn’t know either.  But it doesn’t matter, because the money maxes out at one year, no matter the circumstances.  Even though I expected to go back to work in just a handful of days, and now I’m not.  Now, I have to scramble to find something to pay the bills.  I know that there are rules, but my “good-bye letter” states the date of my termination as after the end of my Maternity leave.  Again, that doesn’t matter.

So if I’m stressed out, unable to concentrate on anything, this is why.  I finished my last book days ago, I had even started writing the review, but I haven’t been able to focus enough to finish it.  I haven’t read anything, watched a movie or really done anything fun.  I was writing a fair amount.  I was sending out queries.  It’s so hard to focus on trying to get published when all I can think about is that I’ll have no money soon.

I’m trying to be my normal self for the children, but I think they can tell something is wrong.  I’m just trying not to freak out.  I’m trying not to get overly emotional.  I’m trying to hold myself together and figure out what to do.  I know what to do, find a job ASAP!  Am I going to be able to?  I don’t know.