I've Been Feeling Conflicted...

I’m feeling a little conflicted about my non-fiction project.  It’s a memoir, I think.  At least it’s about me.  It’s not my life story, but it’s about a significant part of my life.  A part of my life that when I mention it to people they’re reaction is something like "really?" or “what the fuck?”  I can’t believe it sometimes, but it’s true.  I felt the urge…the inspiration to write it after my recent job crisis.  The crisis is over and the project is a third to half finished (it's difficult to imagine how many more words I'll use to finish it).  I want to finish it.  But I wonder who I’m finishing it for.  Am I writing this for me?  To get the story off my chest/out of my head?  Or am I finishing it for you, the reader?  Either way, I now find myself wondering, am I really interesting enough to be writing about myself for others to read.  (Let’s call this feeling self-doubt.)  Who am I to be writing about my life for you?  Today I feel like I’m not anyone.  But I also feel like this story is interesting and there might be a few people who want to read it.

I stopped other projects to write this non-fiction piece and maybe that’s part of what’s getting to me.  I was working on a novel (that I wonder if ever will see the light of day).  I was also working on a short story collection, querying it, actually (I know it’s not the most lucrative form of writing, but I love it.)  I have other things I could be working on.  I have an idea for another novel that's been poking at me.  I have more short stories in me, waiting to burst out.  I just don't think I'll be... satisfied until this non-fiction project is finished.